The annual Exam Jam happened this past week—a time honoured UTM tradition.

Students were able to relieve stress through arts and crafts, review course content, and prepare for the looming exam season. While students’ backpacks were overflowing with textbooks and notes, one student brought something unexpected to IB.

“I brought my six string on the bus just to get here, and all I see are NERDS!” John Mason, a first-year English major, told The Medium. “I went up to a group of girls and was hoping to impress them by showing off my sick acoustic guitar skills, but they ran away before I could get through the first verse of Wonderwall! These nerds ain’t loyal.”

When questioned on how Mason got the event so mistaken, the disillusioned student told The Medium: “Look, the poster said Exam JAM. What else is a jam if not a bunch of sweaty dudes vibing out to the sweet, sweet sound of their own music? And let me tell you, there are absolutely zero jams occurring here. I couldn’t jam even if I tried. And I did, I started fiddling around outside of IB110, you know cranking some riffs, fingering my frets, busking a bit. People threw their hot chocolate cups into my beanie.”

The event’s name, “Exam Jam,” is meant to portray the academic event as fun rather than a chore, but has caused confusion in the past. Previous years have had to deal with excited students seeking a sweet fruit spread, while the appearance of students hoping to vibe musically have increased with each passing year. Last year saw the presence of five synthesizers, two keyboards, four acoustic guitars, two electric guitars, and one bass that no one asked for.

Mason had one ultimate suggestion to the organizers of the Exam Jam: “Don’t call it an Exam Jam if no one is willing to jam. Call it Exam Fest. There’s no way I’d get booked for a festival, so there’s no room for confusion.”

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