“I’m constantly told I’m too cold, but people don’t know what it’s like to be me. My parents were frigid and unloving. I’ve never felt the warm embrace of a loved one. I’d try to hug my parents, but they would never bend their arms to reciprocate. I’ve spent my whole life dealing with rude comments based in snow-ism. My childhood was spent being called “Frosty,” despite the fact that I’ve never worn a top hat. It’s not my religion. It’s gotten worse again recently. I can’t even roll down the street without someone pointing at me and saying “Olaf.” They need to Let It Go. Luckily, I fit in here at UTM. Everyone is just as cold as me. I just wish I could find a girlfriend. Every snow party has too many snow balls for me, y’know. When was the last time you saw a snow woman? With global warming and all that, all the hot chicks are melting quicker than my pet ice cube. Sometimes it feels like I was born in the wrong generation. Oh, to be a snowman in the ice age. They lived like kings. Anyway, my time is very limited. Who needs to be suicidal when there’s climate change? I’ll be a puddle by the time I graduate, so there’s no real purpose to my degree. It’s why I’m a political science major.”

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