Crushing on your TA

Whether or not we allow ourselves to admit it, we are all prone to crushing on our TAs, even if it is just a teeny tiny bit! It’s kind of  true: slightly older than you but not too old? Knows too much but not so much so that it becomes annoying and uncool? Seems to have  a personal life alongside a good  career? Hmmm… I can hear the collective sigh of adoring (hopefully single) undergrads echoing  in the distance.

But as we all know, however  appealling the fantasy is of getting together with that particular  TA, it’s not the wisest thing to do.

But that doesn’t mean it’s not going to happen. So for those unfortunate souls who do end up feeling all  giddy and excited when that one extra-cute TA walks into the room, here are a couple of “do not”s for you.

Do not hit on them in any way or form. That is and always will be a very bad idea! TAs are not allowed to pursue relationships with students. And you don’t want to damage your reputation by doing it.

Do not bug them with unnecessary questions that you think  will make you sound smart but in fact only make you annoying (including to the rest of your suffering fellow students).

Do not spam their email; this tends to come off as creepy.

Do not lag behind after class  gazing into their eyes with nothing of actual significance to say. In other words, pull it together.

Do not compliment them  on their outfit or perfume or anything non-academic. Actually, try not to compliment them at all,  because you don’t really know how obvious it can be to your TA that you have a crush on them.

Do not complain to them about how immature all the other students in your classes are, and how you need a “real” man or woman in your life. Should be a no-brainer.

Do not become “the teacher’s pet”. No need for me to elaborate. That just makes you  come off as pathetic, which, despite circumstances, I’m sure you aren’t!

Do not act like a high-school teenager with a crush on their classmate—i.e., do not giggle when they walk into class, laugh too loudly at some not-so-comical comment they make, or blush when you make eye contact. We’re university students, for crying out loud!

Do not fall into a daze where you smile like a smitten anime character every time they call on you in class.

Do not stalk them by following them around campus and haunting them during their office hours and breaks. It will make you seem foolish at best, if not actually make them uncomfortable around you. Not the best idea, seeing as how they grade you… remember?

Do not—I repeat—DO NOT confess that you are crushing on them, whatever you do! (Or at least not while you still have class with them!)

If you are still convinced that you absolutely are incapable of shaking the crush you have on your TA, remember that there are always positive ways to deal with crushes like that! How about channelling your enthusiasm to work hard on that course and get grades that might impress them? Then, who knows? After the year is done  you might find out it was no more than mere infatuation. Then you can get on to crushing on the next semi-interesting-looking TA you cross paths with.

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