Ladies, I’ve decided to write this article in order to help you with your obsessive creeping problems (not that you are a creeper—but just in case). After talking to many people, I have at last figured out the definition of a creeper.
Well, everyone agreed that a creeper, male or female, is someone who stalks you and is constantly seeking your whereabouts and knowing things about you that you have not personally shared with them. There are many ways to be considered a creeper; here’s some forms of creeping I advise you not to do.
This is not cool! We all know that Facebook is the devil, and when people are constantly uploading pictures and updating statuses, it lets 500 of your friends know every little detail about you. But this does not mean you’re allowed to creep people’s profiles. A slight glance through the profile is fine. However, being a private investigator is not your occupation. You are not allowed to stalk people, OR their friends, OR their friends’ friends! If you spend more than 10 minutes on a person’s profile, I’m afraid you have Facebookalitosis (a common disease found in people who believe Internet stalking is fun and healthy).
You call once with your number and he doesn’t answer. So you decide to call again within two minutes, but this time blocking your number. Clever. Unfortunately, he probably won’t answer—he knows it’s you. And if he does answer, what are you going to say? If you tell him you just called two seconds ago with your number, you’ll look like the ultimate creeper. So what’s the point? Just call once—if he wants to talk he will call back. Guaranteed.
Many people say that Blackberry Messenger is just as bad as Facebook. If you update your status, but you don’t reply to someone’s message, it’s obvious you’re ignoring them. Constantly waiting for the letter “D” above the checkmark to turn to an “R” makes you a creeper. On the other side, don’t bombard the person with messages like “I know you read my message; it shows that you have”, because if you do, they might get a restraining order—just saying.
Taking a drive
Stop lying to yourself. You and I both know you’re not simply taking a drive to clear your mind. If you end up anywhere remotely close to his house, you have indeed become psychopathic, and (worse?) creepy. I’m sorry, but it’s true. You shouldn’t be checking whether his car is in the driveway, or whether he’s “really” at his friend’s house. I would probably say that this kind of creeping is worse than Facebookalitosis, call privacy, and BBM stalking. If you take the all-too-coincidental drive, congratulations—you’re a major creeper!