CCT floors shined with student tears

The University of Toronto Mississauga (UTM) has recently introduced a new initiative to ensure a safe and clean campus for all students.

“We are proud to be able to introduce this new eco-friendly initiative,” a spokesperson from the Custodial Department told The Medium. “The floors in high-traffic areas like Davis, CCIT, and IB are extremely susceptible to dirt and damage from dirty shoes that bring in snow and slush from outside. Our previous cleaning methods relied on harsh chemicals and expensive manpower. We desperately needed a new solution. By reframing the mental health crisis, we are able to reappropriate the tears of students to shine the floors. The salt within the tears helps break down the remnant ice, while the sheer volume of tears covers the entire floor plan within minutes.”

The tears are a result of a recent recycling project brought upon by the worsening mental health of University of Toronto students. Students experiencing large amounts of fluids leaking from their eyes were able to dispose of their used Kleenex tissues and have the tears wrung out. The Health and Counseling Centre had receptacles placed in all of their counselling offices as well as in the main clinic, just below the handcuff storage.

One student was noted by the HCC for being the largest tear donator. This esteemed honour was bestowed upon Karen Mulaney, a fourth-year CCIT student. After receiving her trophy and $8 gift card to Subway, she responded: “Should I be proud? Is this really a thing to be proud of?”

The Medium caught up with U of T president, Meric Gertler to see how he felt about the new initiative. “For months and months, we have heard the pleas of students to address the mental health crisis at the University of Toronto. The safety of our students is paramount, and we want to ensure every student feels safe and supported while going to school. We are proud to allocate $1.5 million in mental health funding to ensure that all floors are shined. The money will be used to pay for even worse mental health counselling so that students have no option but to cry. Mental health starts with putting your best foot forward, and why not put that foot on a shiny sparkling floor.”