Kevin Patrick Robbins
IMPATIENT THEATRE CO.
“Don’t tell me I remind you of Jack Black. Seriously.”
Bob Banks
MANTOWN, PB & J
“Look, just because you like funny dudes doesn’t mean you should date a comic. I like slutty girls, but that doesn’t mean I should date ‘professionals’.”
Dom Paré
CBC’S SO YOU THINK YOU’RE FUNNY, THE DEBATERS, YUK YUK’S
“Every woman wants a funny guy! Every man wants an attractive girl! The quickest way to my heart is being out of my league.”
Pat Thornton
PB & J, HOT BOX
“It’s simple. I’m the funniest person you’ve ever heard in your life, ever, or this is over in a second. Also, you’ll need to lend me money sometimes and don’t be weird about leaving for work with me still sleeping in your bed ’cause I don’t have to be up for hours.”
Ron Sparks
JUST IMDB HIM
“Your timing couldn’t be better, as I’m about to launch this year’s ‘Win a date with ron Sparks’ contest! Just send photos and an intro letter to sparksnation@gmail.com; the winning candidate will be invited to meet me at Swiss Chalet, where we will discuss my IMDb credits and then hug.”
Norm Sousa
SUNDAY NIGHT LIVE, THE SKETCHERSONS
“Laugh at everything I say and don’t talk to my girlfriend. Or rather, laugh at everything they say and don’t tell their girlfriend. Oh, and be good at grammar.”
